The importance of congruence and what it means

Congruence is a huge subject in the community. We talk about your peacocking being congruent with your personality. We talk about your routines being congruent with your personality. I think there is more to it. I think there are parts of congruence we don't cover and that is what I am going to touch on today. I will go over the previous ones as well as ones I believe are important.

Congruence in the dictionary means the quality or state of agreeing or corresponding. And that is pretty much what I mean in this post. Agreeing with you and your personality and what you want. To some this may seem like common sense but this is to put it out there in case you just haven't thought about it.

1) Congruence of Routines:

The reason I put this first is because routines are such a big part of the community. People come in (including me) because they don't know what to say and how to act. This is great, it helped me a lot and I know it has helped many more. What you must keep in mind though is not every routine and system will work for everyone.

Here is an example. There is a system out there that teaches everyone that magic is the way to entertain people and pick up women. Now for me to do this having no passion for magic or wanting to perform it, would come off douche baggy and needy. I am a hairstylist with no desire to learn magic, so this would not be congruent with my personality. For some who like magic or are magicians then this is a great way to do it, but it is not congruent with everyones personality.

2) Congruence of Dress:

This is another huge part of the community. I went out the other night with a group of great guys and it had looked like everyone was in a PUA uniform. Everyone had on tight blue jeans and a black button up. Was that congruent with the guys, knowing them personally yes. But will it be for everyone no.

The unfortunate thing about this is that we have taken the individuality that we so much want people to have and made a uniform. Myself and a friend did an experiment the other day and just walked into a random but popular night club and tried to see if we could point out the people who were either in the game or at least knew of it and we had no problem. Most of them wore the same thing; Blue jeans a somewhat tighter fit usually bootcut, Black button up, unique jewelry, square toe dress shoes, a fashionable but kinda messy hairdo and some a fedora. This stops being an individuals way of expressing themselves and setting yourself apart when you all look the same.

3) Congruence of Venue:

This comes from personal experience Saturday night. I was out with some friends who I enjoy hanging out with. They wanted to go to a sports bar. Which was fine with me I was just hanging out. But then people were wondering why I wasn't approaching. I knew that I personally hate sports, so anyone in a sports bar and myself would already have one thing we didn't get along about. Plus that's all they wanted to talk about. You have to know what you are looking for in the people you want to meet and then go to places you will find them at.

4) Congruence of Person you are interested in:

This for me is an important one. You have to know what you want in a woman/man. Know what you are physically attracted to, know what interests you want them to be into. I will give you an example: I am physically attracted to darker haired women, usually mixed black/white or black/Asian. I love them to be dancer more so because of the firmness and thickness of their thighs (so if they have that without being dancers great). I want them to be motivated in life, having a dream and doing something to actively pursue it. I also like them to be between 5 foot and 5 foot 4.

Now knowing that, other then having a good conversation would it make any sense for me to approach a blonde woman who is 5 foot 8 100 pounds that has chicken legs, NO. Could I have a great conversation and enjoy her company ABSOLUTELY. Would I approach her to have an intimate relationship with no. I know that sounds superficial but everyone has what they want. I believe that we should go out and actively pursue that.

I think this is long enough for one post. I will continue because I believe there are more things. Remember it is important to have a direction in life and be moving towards it and that is what congruence is all about.